Painful Memories
by hurkydoesntknow
Summary: What if Barney had a different reaction to Robin staying with Kevin after he breaks up with Nora? Rated T for suicide attempt and memory loss.
1. The Hospital

**I am back with a new HIMYM story! Now, this takes place in Season 7, but I'm going to add a twist to it! What could happen after Barney breaks up with Nora to be with Robin and Robin doesn't break up with Kevin? Let's see in my crazy little head!**

**Disclaimer: Hurky doesn't own How I Met Your Mother.**

* * *

><p>Ted Mosby burst through the emergency room doors to find his friends, Marshall Eriksen and Lily Aldrin, sitting and waiting in the lobby. He rushed over to them.<p>

"What happened?" Ted asked them.

Lily, whose eyes were overflowing with tears and choked up, was too upset to speak. Marshall began to talk.

"Lily went to check up on Barney, you know, after his break up with Nora?" explained Marshall. "Well, she went to see how he was doing since she had not seen him in a few days..."

_Scene shifts to earlier in the day..._

Lily knocked on the door to Barney's apartment, carrying a small box of cupcakes from a nearby specialty shop. "Barney?"

No answer. Lily knocked again.

"Barney, you in there?" she asked. "I know things are hard after your breakup, but I brought you some cupcakes!"

Still no answer. Lily began to turn the knob to the door and let herself in. She slowly walked in, creeping silently in her Ugg boots. She was currently pregnant with a baby boy, so she was wearing more comfortable shoes so her feet wouldn't ache as much.

Lily set the box of cupcakes down on the coffee table as she began to search the apartment. She checked in his bedroom. No Barney there.

She walked over to the bathroom where the door was closed but unlocked. Lily opened the door to find Barney, next to the bathtub, lying on the floor unconscious in a puddle of his own blood. Lily screamed.

"BARNEY!" she screamed as she knelt down and lifted Barney's head and cradled him in her arms. "Barney, wake up!"

Barney, wearing a suit but no tie, was pale as a ghost and his eyes remained closed.

Lily grabbed her cell phone from her purse dialed 911 with trembling hands. "Hello, 911? I need an ambulance here right now!"

After confirming the address, Lily hung up from the dispatcher and began to check Barney's wrists for a pulse. That was when she noticed there were cuts on them, particularly on the veins, blood still oozing out...

_Back at the hospital..._

Marshall was still holding Lily while Ted dropped into a chair and put his head in his hands.

"I can't believe Barney tried to kill himself..." said Ted in disbelief.

"Mr. Mosby?" asked a somewhat dull female voice.

Ted looked up and saw a short plump young woman with blonde hair tied into a ponytail and wearing glasses along with light blue scrubs and a dark blue long sleeved shirt underneath standing there and holding a clipboard.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Cornischi," said the woman. "I'm Mr. Stinson's doctor. Would you follow me, please?"

Ted, Marshall, and Lily followed the doctor to a room nearby and stood outside of it.

"We've finished treating and examining him," began Dr. Cornischi. "He did try to take his life but we were able to successfully resuscitate him and give him a few blood transfusions after he lost a massive amount of blood. However, while he was falling to the ground, it appears that he hit his head on either a counter or a bathtub. We believe that he suffered a serious concussion."

"Can we go see him, now?" asked Marshall.

Dr. Cornischi nodded. She pointed her pencil at the doorway. "He's resting at the moment, though." she said. Then, she walked away.

Ted, Marshall, and Lily all exchanged glances at each other. They silently creeped into the dark hospital room. There was one bed, with Barney lying in it, asleep. He looked weak and he was still pale. On his wrists were bandages and gauze to help stop the bleeding. The only sound in the room was a heart monitor beeping, indicating that Barney was still alive. Lily burst into tears again at this sight while Marshall comforted her. Ted walked over to Barney and sat down next to him.

"Guys, what happened?" asked a female voice.

Everyone turned around to see Robin Scherbatsky walking in, carrying her coat with her.

"I just got the news that Barney was in the hospital," said Robin. "What happened?"

Ted took a deep breath. "Barney tried to kill himself," he explained.

Robin's eyes welled with tears and she covered her mouth. "Oh no..." she croaked, dropping into the chair next to Ted.

"I don't understand why he would do this," sobbed Lily.

Suddenly, the sound of blankets rustling and someone groaning made everyone turn their heads to Barney. He was twisting his face in pain and moving a little. Then, he opened his eyes.

"Barney!" exclaimed Ted in happiness that his friend was awake.

"Hey," said Marshall. "How are you feeling, buddy?"

Barney stared at everyone with tired blue eyes. "I feel exhausted and in pain," he answered groggily. He held a hand to his forehead. "And my head hurts..."

Lily, with her motherly instincts even before becoming a mother, walked over to Barney. She opened up his bottle of painkillers and handed him one with a cup of water. "Here," she said soothingly. "Take this. You hit your head when you fell."

Barney took the painkiller and swallowed it while drinking the water. Lily took the cup from him while Barney noticed his wrists.

"What happened to me?" he asked.

"It's a long story," said Ted. "Lily found you in your apartment and called an ambulance. You-"

"-Wait," said Barney. "Who's Lily?"

Ted was taken aback. "Lily was the one who gave you the painkiller, remember?" he reminded Barney.

Barney just stared at his friends. "I'm sorry, but I don't remember anything..." he said. "I don't know who you people are."


	2. Starting From Square One

"Barney, stop playing around," Robin said, hoping Barney was only joking about his memory. "You know it's us."

Barney just stared at the group. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I really don't know who you guys are," he said sadly.

"There's only one way we can be sure," said Marshall. "Buddy, this is going to be legen-wait for it..."

Barney stared blankly at Marshall. Tears fell down Lily's cheeks.

"He's gone," Lily whispered hoarsely. "Barney's really lost his memory..."

Barney watched as his friends became upset and frustrated. Lily cried while Marshall held her, Ted was shaking his head in disbelief, while Robin stood there, frozen in shock. He didn't understand what was going on. All he knew was that he was really tired.

There was a knock at the door, which caught everyone's attention. Dr. Cornischi was standing at the door, holding the same clipboard from earlier.

"Hi, Mr. Stinson?" she asked in that dull voice of hers as she walked in. "I'm Dr. Cornischi, how are you feeling?"

"Terrible," replied Barney. "I'm in pain and these people are in my room."

"Doctor, Barney lost his memory," Ted spoke up.

"Ah, I see," said Dr. Cornischi, taking notes. "It appears that his head injury was more severe than we thought. We're going to have to keep him here for another day or two to run some more tests."

"I'm still his emergency contact, is that correct?" asked Ted.

Dr. Cornischi nodded. "Yes, you are," she answered. "I can release him over to you once everything is finished and Barney is ready to be released. However, I'm worried about his mental health. Do any of you know why Mr. Stinson tried to take his life?"

No one said anything. Robin bit her lip. She may have known why Barney tried to take his life. He had just recently broken up with his ex-girlfriend Nora to be with Robin...only for her to remain with her boyfriend Kevin.

_I can't bring this up in front of the gang,_ Robin thought to herself. _I can't let them know I'm the one responsible for this._

"I'll give you a few resources so that Mr. Stinson could get treatment on not only his amnesia but also his suicide attempt, alright, Mr. Mosby?" concluded Dr. Cornischi.

Ted nodded and the doctor left the room. He turned back at Barney, who had fallen back asleep. He felt bad for the blonde haired man, who once had an ego the size of New York.

_"Ted, I'm going to teach you how to live!"_ Barney said to Ted when they first met.

_So much for teaching me how to live, Barney_, Ted thought to himself.

"We should probably get going," suggested Marshall.

Everyone agreed, so they left Barney to get his rest.

On the way home from the hospital, Robin checked her phone and realized she had a missed call from Kevin. She dialed his number.

"Hey, where have you been?" asked Kevin.

"There was an emergency at the hospital," said Robin.

"Oh no, what happened?" Kevin asked worriedly in his soothing therapist voice. Darn him and his profession!

Robin hesitated. "It's a long story," she said. "But Barney lost his memory. He had an injury to his head."

"That's terrible!" cried Kevin. "Do you need me to come over tonight?"

"It's alright," said Robin. "I just need to be alone tonight."

"Okay, but if there's anything you need, let me know," said Kevin and hung up.

During the night at the hospital, Barney was having a fitful sleep. He was having flashbacks about Robin but he couldn't remember who she was. By the next morning, Barney woke up in a cold sweat, panting frantically. He also had a stinging pain on both of his wrists. He looked down and saw that he ripped off both of the bandages in his sleep. He studied what had been under the bandages the whole time. Slash marks. Not a clean straight-lined cut, but it looked like repeated slashings. He wasn't bleeding anymore but the slashes still looked raw.

Barney tried to sit up in his bed but dizziness took its toll and he had to rest back on his pillows.

"Barney?" asked a voice.

Barney looked to the doorway and found Ted standing there.

"Hey," he said calmly.

"Hi," Barney answered back in a meek voice that Ted had never heard out of Barney before.

"How are you feeling?" asked Ted.

Barney remained silent and continued to stare at his wrists. Ted got a good look at them and his jaw dropped. It looked like in Barney's blinded depression, he really attacked his wrists, hoping it would do the job in killing him.

"Good morning," chirped a woman's voice.

The two men looked up and saw a woman in her 30s with very long but perfectly straight brown hair and wearing purple scrubs standing at the door.

"Don't mind me," she said. "I'm just here to check your vital signs."

The nurse brought in the machines and checked Barney's blood pressure. It was normal. After that, she checked his temperature.

"Oh no," she said worriedly as she disposed of the plastic wrapping from the thermometer attached to a machine. "You have a slight fever. I'll tell the doctor, but first I need to redress your wounds."

Ted watched the nurse and Barney as the nurse sterilized the wounds, which stung for Barney. He twisted his face in pain.

"I'm sorry," said the nurse. "Fresh wounds always hurt when I put this stuff on. I wish I didn't have to do it."

Barney smiled weakly. "It's alright," he said.

After two more minutes, Barney's slash marks were covered up and the nurse left and the two men were alone again.

"A fever, huh?" summarized Ted. "Looks like they're probably going to keep you in here another day."

Barney didn't say anything. He continued to stare at the fresh gauze and bandages on his wrists. He looked up. "I'm sorry, but I didn't get your name," he said.

"Oh," Ted said. "My name's Ted Mosby. I'm one of your best friends."

Barney smiled until a stabbing pain shot through his head, particularly where he hit his head. He groaned in pain. Suddenly, he felt warm all over and lightheaded. That was when he passed out.


	3. Barney's First Therapy Session

The gang was at MacLaren's later that afternoon, where Ted had told them what went down that morning with Barney at the hospital.

"...so they ran some tests on Barney, but they said that nothing was wrong with his head," Ted finished, recalling the events from earlier at the hospital. "He just had a fainting spell."

"That had to have been scary," Lily said, sipping on her glass of soda.

"But what also disturbed me were those cuts on his wrists," Ted said, staring into space. "It wasn't just your average little scratch, Barney really got into it and slashed the living daylights out of them."

The group remained silent while Robin bit her lip. She couldn't hold in her regret much longer. She had to tell them.

"Guys, I think I know why Barney attempted suicide," Robin confessed. "You guys know how Barney recently broke up with Nora? Well, I'm the reason why. We slept together and we were going to break up with our partners so we could be together. Barney broke up with Nora but I didn't break up with Kevin."

Marshall spat out his beer all over Ted.

"Gross!" Ted scoffed in disgust as beer dripped from his hair and face.

"That's just wrong!" cried Marshall angrily. "So it's _your_ fault that Barney's in the hospital with no memory of who he is!"

Tears spilled out of Robin's eyes. "I know, I know, I feel so bad. I wish I broke up with Kevin or never even slept with Barney in the first place, otherwise none of us would be in this mess..." she sobbed.

Lily reached over and gave Robin a hug. "Listen, Robin," she said calmly. "What's done is done. All we can do now is help Barney the best we can to get his memory back, even if it takes us a long time."

Robin snifled and smiled. "Thanks, Lily," she said graciously.

A few days had passed and Barney's head injury healed progressively. Barney relearned the gang's names and who they were, but they had yet to tell Barney about their past as friends, through good times and bad. Barney began to feel less insecure around the gang and he would talk with them for hours until visiting hours were over.

Finally, the day came for Barney to be released from the hospital. Dr. Cornischi assigned a therapist to Barney and explained that an appointment was scheduled for him the following Monday morning.

Ted and Marshall were the ones who picked up Barney from the hospital. Lily and Robin stayed at Ted's apartment, getting things ready for Barney to stay there for a few weeks. Ted suggested that it would be a while before they would reintroduce Barney into his old life of his professionally lit porno collection, his wall-sized TV, and his Storm Trooper that stood in the corner of his living room.

"Here you are, buddy!" Marshall said excitedly to Barney as he opened the door to Ted's apartment and let him inside.

Robin and Lily stood at the door, smiling and hugging Barney. Robin noticed that Barney wasn't wearing a suit. Instead, he wore a gray t-shirt, a blue zip-up sweatshirt, jeans, and running shoes.

"It's so nice to be out of that hospital," Barney lamented, sitting on the couch. "I didn't realize how much color the world has."

Everyone laughed.

"So you wanna go to lunch with us?" asked Ted.

"Or," spoke up Marshall. "We could do takeout?"

Takeout food was something the old Barney was into. With his busy job (no one still knew what Barney's profession was), he always spent time eating takeout, particularly Chinese.

Ted and Marshall exchanged glances. Ted's eyes lit up.

"Okay, let's get takeout!" he said, clapping his hands together.

So, Ted ordered takeout food from Barney's favorite restaurant and ordered the usual and had it delivered to Ted's apartment. Everyone split what was in the white boxes.

As Robin ate, she noticed that Barney was eating his food with a fork rather than chopsticks like he used to. It saddened her.

_I have to work to get Barney his memories back,_ she thought to herself.

After lunch, Lily brought out her photo album with all of the group pictures to show Barney, hoping to spark his memory. She showed him the pictures from her and Marshall's wedding, Robin getting her American citizenship, even Lily's 32nd birthday party. This brought a memory back to Robin.

"Hey Barney, this was the time I tried to catch you not taking your 'perfect' pose," began Robin. "But somehow you made it perfect."

Barney just stared deeply at the picture. He shook his head. "Why am I always wearing a suit?" he asked.

Robin frowned and turned to the next page...

The rest of the afternoon went well. Although Barney did remember Ranjit (from hearing stories about him), the gang all had fun.

The days had passed uneventfully. Ted took Barney to MacLaren's for the first time in a while. Carl and Wendy greeted him but Barney backed away in fear. Ever since Barney lost his memory, he became a very shy and timid person, but very polite. He had been opening doors for people as he walked out of MacLaren's, saying excuse me to people as he passed by, he even said, "Ladies first," to a woman at the coffee shop one morning. She was a very beautiful woman for that matter, with her long blonde hair and slender body in her coat, scarf, and boots. She winked at Barney and bought him his coffee but she had her phone number written on the cup by the barista.

"Why is there a phone number written on my coffee cup?" Barney asked as he showed his friends the coffee cup.

"Barney, obviously the girl likes you!" Ted said proudly. "You should give her a call, see if she wants to go to dinner with you or something!"

"I'll call her, but after therapy," said Barney.

Today was Barney's first therapy session with the doctor appointed therapist. Barney was feeling a little nervous because he didn't know what to say or do, but Marshall reassured him that he and Ted were going to be outside waiting.

So, Barney sat waiting in the therapist's office, but it was a short time before someone opened the door and in walked the therapist.

"Hi...Barney?" asked the voice.

Barney looked up and saw Kevin standing in front of him.

"You're my client that was given to me by Dr. Cornischi?" Kevin asked surprisingly.

Barney stared at him. "Do I know you?" he asked.

Kevin sat in his chair and began to flip through the papers, with his expression saddening at the words written in the report. _Memory loss_ and _suicide attempt_ were written in front of Kevin's eyes.

"Robin tells me that you lost your memory," he spoke up.

Barney fiddled with the string on his sweatshirt. "I apparently did," he said.

"She didn't tell me that you attempted suicide," Kevin continued interrogating, but in his calm therapist voice. "Do you know what happened?"

Barney remained silent. He shook his head. "I have no recollection," he finally answered back. He rolled up his sleeves to show his wrists, which there were no longer bandages, but his scars. "I just woke up in the hospital with these on my wrists."

Kevin stared at the cuts still on Barney's wrists in shock and horror.

It was a very long hour for the two men. Barney told Kevin what he learned in his past week of being an amnesiac. He had relearned who his friends were and was beginning to gather pieces of his past. He remembered visions of his family but could not recall their names.

After Barney left, Kevin looked through the notes he took from what Barney had told him. He wanted to confront Robin on Barney's suicide attempt, but he couldn't due to confidentiality. He had to find out somehow...


	4. And Nora Flu By

Time had passed since Barney met up with Kevin for his therapy appointment. After his first session, Barney tossed the coffee cup with the girl's number on it in the trash and forgot about it because he was frustrated and wanted to return to Ted's apartment.

Barney still had fitful nights of sleep. He would often have nightmares but they now featured both Nora and Kevin. He wasn't sure why.

Kevin, on the other hand, tried to get the reason why Barney tried to take his own life out of Robin. However, she was like a clam, stubborn to open her mouth when asked, so Kevin figured the only way to get the answer was the get it out of Barney. He began to discuss techniques with Barney to help re-develop his memories. They worked for Barney, as he began to remember his past a lot better.

In this time, Robin began to spend more time with Barney. As much as she missed the old Barney, Robin was beginning to like the new Barney. The new Barney was sweet and respectful, considerate of others' feelings and began to listen to people more.

One afternoon, Robin stopped by Ted's apartment to see Barney. Ted was out of the apartment that day but he reported to Robin that Barney wasn't feeling well. He caught a small flu bug and he had been throwing up all night. Robin didn't want Barney to be alone, so she decided to stop by.

"Barney?" Robin called as she closed the door to the apartment behind her.

Silence. Robin walked over to the spare bedroom where she opened the door and found Barney, curled up underneath the covers.

"Barney?" Robin repeated calmly. "You awake?"

Barney opened his eyes and peeked his head out from under the covers. "Robin?" he asked. "That you?"

"It's me," Robin answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Sick," Barney replied. "I've been freezing, I'm dehydrated, and I keep throwing up."

"Well, I'll go make a run to the store for you," Robin said cheerfully. "I'll get you something to help your dehydration."

Barney mumbled a thanks and burrowed back under the blankets.

Robin left the apartment and walked to the local supermarket to pick up some supplies for Barney. She walked over to the beverage aisle and put a couple bottles of sports drink into her hand basket when she heard a familiar British accent call to her.

"Robin? Is that you?"

Robin turned around and saw a tall woman with brown hair, dark colored skin, and bundled up in light colored winter clothes.

"Nora?" Robin asked. "Hi!"

"Hi!" Nora said happily as she and Robin hugged. "How's everything?"

"Good," Robin lied. "Just keeping busy. You?"

"I'm well. Just in the neighborhood, visiting a friend of mine," Nora answered back. She paused hesitantly. "How's Barney doing?"

"Oh, Barney?" Robin asked with a nervous laugh. "Barney's doing okay. He's hanging in there, keeping busy." _He tried to kill himself and lost his memory no thanks to you, skank._

"Good," Nora said calmly. "Well, if you see him, tell him I said hello."

She turned around and walked away.

"Will do!" Robin called back to her with a tiny smile. Her little smile disappeared as Nora turned a corner and out of sight.

Robin quickly dashed to the register, paid for the sports drinks, and went back to Ted's apartment where she poured some of a bottle of lemon-lime flavored sports drink and took it to Barney's room, where he was asleep.

"Barney?" Robin asked calmly as she shook the blonde man gently on the arm, which was very warm due to fever. _Wow_, she thought. _He's really burning up!_

Barney blearily opened his eyes and saw Robin standing over him. He smiled. "Hey,"

Robin smiled back. "Here, I picked this up for you at the store. It's got electrolytes in it, so it will help you stay hydrated," she said, setting the glass down on the nightstand.

"Thanks," Barney said.

As time went by, Barney took a few sips of the drink and he was able to keep the liquid down. Meanwhile, he and Robin sat and talked for a while until Barney began to feel tired again and he fell into a deep sleep while Robin went to the kitchen to fix herself something to eat.

While Barney slept, he began to have more flashbacks. The memory of him talking to Robin at the shooting range came up when he had planned the "Super Date" and let Robin have it with her ex-boyfriend Don. After that came the memory of him jumping into the Hudson River and being pulled out, but that was before he saw there on the bench in a blanket and watching the fireworks light up the New York City skyline. Another memory came of Nora. She stood there, smiling beautifully, but next to her was Robin, with a sad look on her face.

Barney, in the flashback, stood there, wearing a suit. Nora reached out a hand to him, while Robin did the same. Barney began to walk over to Robin, but another hand went into her hand. Barney looked up and saw his therapist, Kevin.

Barney looked back at Nora, but she was long gone and Barney stood alone in the dark. He felt something cold and sharp go into his right hand. He looked down and saw a razor blade. Without thinking, Barney rolled up his sleeves and held the sharp, metal blade to his left wrist. He began to press down on it until...

That was when Barney shot up in bed, in another cold sweat, panting frantically.

"Barney?" called a familiar voice. Robin walked into the room with a cold compress. Her expression turned into a worried one. "Barney, what's wrong?"

Barney took one look at Robin and suddenly, everything came back to him. "...you skank!"


	5. Picking Up the Pieces

Robin stood there, shocked. "What did you just call me?" she cried.

"You heard me," Barney answered back. "I remember everything. I dumped Nora for you and you ran off with my therapist! That loser Kevin!"

"Wait, _Kevin's_ your therapist?" cried Robin. "Barney, I think you're still dehydrated. Here, take another drink."

She held the glass of sports drink to Barney, but he angrily slapped it out of Robin's hand, causing it to fly to the floor and shatter, spilling everywhere. Robin stood there, frozen, while Barney removed the covers and put his bare feet on the floor. He stood up and dashed out of the room. Tears formed in Robin's eyes and spilled over...

Barney got dressed back into a t-shirt, jeans, his zip-up hoodie, and running shoes, and left Ted's apartment. He walked all the way back to his own apartment, opening the door and entering for the first time since his suicide attempt. He walked over to the couch and collapsed onto it.

A knock sounded at the door.

"Go away, Robin!" Barney yelled, thinking Robin followed him home.

"Barney?" asked a male voice. "It's me, Marshall. Can we come in?"

Barney remained silent. He stood up and opened the door to find Ted, Marshall, and Lily. They all walked in, looking particularly worried.

"Barney, Robin told us you got your memory back," said Ted.

"I wish I hadn't," Barney said miserably. "In fact, I wish I was never resuscitated. I wish Lily just left me on my bathroom floor to die!"

"Barney, I couldn't do that!" Lily yelled, raising her voice.

Ted and Marshall stared at her with wide eyes. Neither of them had EVER seen Lily raise her voice that loud. Well, she taught kindergarten and she raised her voice numerous times, but not as bad as this time.

"Barney, what kind of friend would I have been if I left you there to die?" Lily cried, tears coming to her voice. "You're my family and I love you too much just to do that. In fact, I can't even stand there and watch any human being die."

Tears cascaded down Barney's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Lil..." he said, stretching his arms out for a hug.

Lily went over and hugged him very tight as both of them sobbed. One by one, Ted and Marshall joined them, wrapping their arms around the two until it became a group hug and they let go.

"Thanks, guys," Barney said, smiling and wiping his eyes until he began to feel dizzy and he began to lose consciousness. He began to fall forward until Marshall grabbed him and laid him down on the couch.

"Think he had a memory overload," Marshall concluded. "Took in too much at one time, especially in his state. Buddy needs to rest."

Lily went to Barney's room and grabbed a blanket and pillow where she set the pillow underneath Barney's head and draped the blanket over him. Barney began to look much more relaxed as he rested.

"I'm going to go talk to Robin," said Marshall.

"I'll go with you," Ted volunteered. "Lily, stay with Barney in case he wakes up."

Lily nodded while the two men walked out of the apartment.

Meanwhile, Robin had left Ted's apartment and went downstairs to MacLaren's. She had been crying and upset after Barney snapped at her.

Robin had been sitting in the gang's usual booth, drinking a large glass of wine when her phone rang. She picked it up and answered it.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Robin?" asked a voice. "It's me, Kevin."

"Kevin!" Robin cried. "Why didn't you tell me that Barney was your patient?"

"Robin, I can't break confidentiality," Kevin explained. "As much as I wanted to ask you what had been going on, I couldn't. I would lose my job."

"Is your job really worth trying to help a friend?" Robin shot back. "Barney tried to kill himself because of me and Nora. He broke up with Nora to be with me, but I let him down and I didn't break up with you."

"You didn't break up with me?" cried Kevin.

Robin took a deep breath. "I...cheated on you with Barney," she confessed.

There was a long silence on Kevin's end of the phone.

"Are you still there?" Robin squeaked.

Kevin finally answered. "You're a terrible person. It's over between us. Goodbye." And the phone clicked.

Robin slammed her phone down and began to sob. She had chased away two important people, ones who loved her.

While she was sobbing, Ted and Marshall walked in and sat down in front of her.

"Hey Robin," Marshall greeted.

"Kevin just dumped me," Robin wailed. "I don't know what I'm gonna do...I scared away two men who loved me."

"Robin, I don't think you scared Barney away," Ted reassured her. "Barney may be a little upset, but I'm sure he'll get over it."

"I really don't think so," denied Robin. "I don't think he'lll ever forgive me. Can I ask where he is right now?"

"He's at home, resting." answered Marshall. "He's still feeling a little sick, but he'll be fine soon."

Robin nodded and sipped on her wine. Marshall and Ted stayed for a beer and continued to talk to Robin until it was last call, then they went back to Barney's apartment to pick up Lily. Barney had been asleep the whole time they were gone and even Lily was beginning to fall asleep. Lily was relieved to hear that Robin was okay.

A month had passed after Barney regained his memories. Robin stopped going to MacLaren's altogether and stayed at home on her nights off from work. Barney stopped seeing Kevin as his therapist but he was re-evaulating things. He had not been seeking any women. In fact, he stopped trying to sleep with random women like he did in the past.

Finally, one day, Robin stopped at MacLaren's for an order of buffalo wings. She had not had them in a while but she had been craving them lately.

She sat in the usual booth, alone, when Wendy the Waitress arrived with the buffalo wings.

"Thanks," Robin muttered as she took a buffalo wing and dipped it into the small ramekin of ranch sauce.

She ate in silence until she heard a familiar voice she had not heard in a while.

"This seat taken?"

Robin looked up, still chewing on her buffalo wings to find Barney standing there, wearing a suit. The sight of the suit and tie was pleasing to Robin, as she had not seen him wear a suit since before his suicide attempt.

"It's not taken," Robin answered back.

Barney sat down in front of Robin and looked at her, but she was looking down at her buffalo wings, feeling sheepish. She felt like she did not deserve to make eye contact with him.

"So, how have you been feeling?" Robin asked.

Barney sighed. "Better. Visited my dad for the first time in a while, told him what happened," he said.

"Barney, why did you think suicide was going to be the answer to all of your problems?" Robin suddenly blurted out.

Barney looked down at his hands. His wrists were sticking out of the sleeves of his suit, the scars healed but still very visible. "I'm not sure," he finally answered back. "I was just blinded by depression and heartbreak. I loved Nora, but I loved you more and I had sacrificed my relationship with her for you and you just..."

He went silent. The memory of him returning to his apartment after breaking up with Nora came back to him...

_Scene shifts to when Barney attempted suicide..._

Barney walked into his apartment, feeling defeated. He threw the bag of rose petals on the ground. He undid his tie and threw it on the couch, which he plopped on. He buried his face into his hands and let the tears fall. He didn't know what else to do next. He felt like he lost everything and he wasn't going to get it back this time.

"If Robin doesn't want me, then she won't have me," Barney said to himself as he stood up. He walked to the bathroom and began to wash his face when he noticed something gleaming in the corner of his eye.

Barney dried his face with a towel and picked up the shiny object. It was a razor. He couldn't recall how it got there. All Barney knew was that it was there. He stared at it for a few minutes when he suddenly began to hold it to his left wrist. Without thinking, he pressed the cold blade down on his wrist and sliced the blade across, cutting into the purple veins running along his wrist. He smiled to himself as he saw blood pour out and trickle down. The cut was painful but it also felt good at the same time. He cut the wrist again, and again, repeatedly. Then, he used his bloody left hand and did the same to his right wrist.

Barney dropped the blade and examined what he had done. Blood was pouring out rapidly, dripping off of his hands and onto the floor.

Suddenly, Barney began to feel weak and his breathing became shallow. A feeling of warmth washed over him and his vision became blurred. Barney closed his eyes and began to collapse.

_I hope you're happy with him, Robin..._Barney thought as he lost consciousness and fell to the ground, but not before hitting his head on the side of his bathtub. A few minutes later, Lily found him on the floor and called for an ambulance...

_Back to the present..._

Barney sat in the booth, with tears in his eyes. Robin reached over and touched his arm, also with tears in her eyes.

"Barney..." she said. "I-I'm so sorry..."

Barney waved her off. "Don't be," he said. "It was my stupidity."

"Don't say that!" cried Robin. She took a deep breath. "Kevin and I broke up the day you got your memories back. He called me a terrible person and hung up. That was the last I heard of him."

Barney stood up and sat down next to Robin on her side of the booth. He put his arms around her in a hug. "I'm sorry that happened."

Robin wiped a tear away and took a deep breath. She noticed Barney's scent, something which she loved. She looked up at him, finally making eye contact. She stared into his beautiful blue eyes and smiled. Barney smiled back at her, another thing Robin loved about Barney, which was his smile. She had not seen it in a long time. Not even after his suicide attempt and he was amnesiac, when his smiles seemed fake. This was a true smile.

Robin continued to smile and closed her eyes when she suddenly noticed a set of lips pressed against hers. She opened her eyes and saw that they were Barney's. Robin closed her eyes again and continued to kiss Barney, making it passionate.

This went on for a few more minutes when they pulled away and stopped kissing. Barney held out a hand and Robin placed her hand in his, getting up and walking out of MacLaren's.


End file.
